Summer’s Over & Dating Routine’s Are Back
It’s officially September, and the relaxed vibes of summer are winding down. For many people, the warmer months mean long weekends, more frequent travel, and shifting schedules, which can make dating feel like it's in the back seat.
Now that fall is here, the new season is the perfect time to start building routines and forming new habits. That might include renewing your commitment to dating. Putting yourself out there can sometimes feel challenging (the emotional labor is real!), and while it’s OK to take breaks as you need them, it can also help to develop some affirmations to make dating feel more fun. Reminding yourself what you hope to get out of the process can make you feel excited and empowered to meet new people again.
Before you dive back in, take this time to check in with yourself. What are you looking for at this point in your life? Do you want a long-term partner? Are you hoping to explore your sexuality? Are you still figuring out what relationship structure works for you? Get clear on your priorities to discern how dating can fit into your life right now, without feeling like a chore or a stress point.
If you’re still a little nervous, you’re not alone. Here are six affirmations to refresh your mindset around dating. Try repeating these before you swipe on an app or schedule that date.
You get to decide what you want. As much as you are trying to put your best foot forward, remember that the other person also needs to fit into your life. You’re auditioning them as much as they’re auditioning you. Try to give yourself that sense of agency.
You’re learning more about yourself in this process. Even if a date goes poorly, you will come away from it with a nugget of wisdom, maybe about something you now know you don’t want. A bad date isn’t a “failure,” it’s information for the future.
You won’t be right for everyone, and that’s okay. Ideally, you shouldn’t feel the need to prove you can fit into someone else’s life by acting like an edited version of you. Show up as your full self to see if you have a shot at a genuine connection.
With the right person, you can’t “mess it up.” A healthy relationship isn’t built on saying the “right” things; it’s built on authenticity and mutual effort. Keeping this in mind can free you from worrying about every little conversational detail.
There’s no rush. This applies even if you have a timeline for when you hope to meet a partner. Putting pressure on a date is unlikely to make it feel natural. Try to take a deep breath and remember that you don’t have to meet the right person right this minute.
Dating is meant to be fun! Try to embrace and enjoy the process. This is meant to enhance your life, not add to your stress.
Above all, try to return to your dating routine with the knowledge that you don’t have to be perfect to be worthy of love and care. The goal isn’t to impress everyone you meet; it’s to find someone who fits your life and meets you right where you are. Good luck, and you’ve got this!
